Movie Roundup for June 20, 2009
I wasn’ t nearly as impressed with Glory as I thought I might be. For most of the movie I felt like I had seen dozens like it, though I cannot pinpoint any particular examples. Denzel Washington’s performance is alternately Oscar-worthy and insipid standard Denzel fare. Worth watching, I guess.
Star Trek III - The Search for Spock (IMDB, Netflix)
I used to really hate this movie. There are certainly plenty of things to hate about The Search for Spock. Kirk’s parting shot to the Klingon commander is particularly stupid: “I have had enough of you!” Dude, he just killed your son, and that is what you say as you kick him to his doom? Whatever.
But there’s some great stuff in here. Stealing the Enterprise, for instance. The underlying story of dealing with death, with having another mind trapped inside of your own, and putting your dearest friend to rest could have been a truly great movie, Star Trek or otherwise. It’s a pity then that the themes are so muddled and the story little more than an excuse to resurrect Spock. Still, it was certainly a lot more watchable than my memory indicated.
You must watch this movie. Troll 2 is simply deliciously awful. This 10 minute clip of scenes from the movie doesn’t do it justice. The entire movie is that terrible, or worse. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll scream “Oh my gaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd,” you’ll be confused as to how this movie ever got released, or how anyone involved ever thought it might be a good idea.
Not to be confused with the unrelated Troll 2, which merely took the name for marketing purposes. Troll is about Harry Potter’s struggle against an evil wizard and his magical minions. No, seriously, the character’s name is Harry Potter. Which caused me to laugh hysterically every single time the character’s full name was mentioned.
Troll isn’t really a bad movie, though it contains plenty of unintentionally funny moments. But I’m not sure what it wants to be. A few parts of it are pretty horrific for a kids movie, while most of it is too kiddy to be a horror movie. In that respect, it fails where the wonderful Gremlins succeeds.
Wallace and Grommit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit (IMDB, Netflix)
Best kids movie I’ve watched in a while. I had a goofy grin on my face for most of the movie. It does drag out in parts, especially since the answer to the mystery is so patently obvious. Still, pretty fun.
Cronenberg, science gone amok, and killer telepaths. What’s not to like? Well, besides the acting and a ridiculous subplot where a telepath interfaces with the “nervous system” of a 1980s computer. Not nearly a classic as Cronenberg’s The Fly, but good concept none-the-less.
Can it really bring the dead back?
While I don’t have a lot of hope for the final game, this trailer for Castlevania: Lords of Shadow grabs me.
As near as I can tell, the Castlevania moniker was only slapped on recently for marketing purposes. No familiar characters or foes are featured, the setting does not look like the usual Castlevania game, and the music is most certainly not in the usual style. All of that may in fact be a good thing, as the 3D Castlevania games up until now have been pretty lame. This looks more like God of War in execution, which may be the proper route.
The part of the trailer that grabs me is the mask. “The mask is a powerful device.” “Can it really bring the dead back?” Those two lines really cut straight to the heart of this game’s story (or at least I hope so). Lost love and the mad quest to undo it, to disastrous consequences. I can see this as being a reboot for Dracula’s origin story. Because let’s face it, Lament of Innocence’s story was pretty lame.
With real voice talent (Patrick Stewart! Robert Carlyle!) behind it, Lords of Shadow may work as a story oriented game. If the script doesn’t include gems like “What is a man? A pitiful pile of secrets!” We’ll see.
And I really want a replica of that mask. Such a fantastic design.
Starring Mark Hamill as MacGyver
Sublime genius.
HT Warren.
Loading Wikipedia through a 1960s modem
This is simply incredible. Gorgeous and functional.
Movie Roundup for May 23, 2009
Fred Claus - I’m not sure why I watched this one, but I was surprised how it wasn’t 100% terrible. It was mostly awkward. Not quite a kids movie, not quite a movie for adults. I liked Kevin Spacey as the terribly clichèd evil lawyer trying to shut down Christmas because he didn’t get a present from Santa when he was a kid (oops, spoiler alert!). Oh the irony that it was a Superman cape that he had asked for and not received. Who knew this was the origin story for Lex Luthor? On that note, Superman Returns was terrible.
Not recommended, at all.
Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan - It really surprised me how little I liked this one. I remember it being my third favorite Star Trek movie, and yet the movie is so bland. The cinematography - particularly the scenes of Khan on the Reliant - just bores and revolts me. The score by James Horner is okay, but is entirely inappropriate for Star Trek. The whole “Kirk feels old” theme is really hamfisted in its implementation.
The movie really has two things going for it - actual submarine space battles, and life/death on a starship (particularly the death of Spock). It does both things extremely well, but they don’t fully make up for its shortcomings.
Uncomfortable plot summaries
The premise: Take the plot of a movie, book or TV show and reword it to totally misrepresent the original work. This is similar to the idea of trailer recuts I posted a while back.
The results: Hilarity. Be sure to read the comments as well. While a lot of the people seem to be missing the point, there are some gems buried in the comments.
As for my own untitled work: Boy moves to a magical underwater city, becomes a great leader, lives forever.
Movie Roundup for May 11, 2009
Grave of Fireflies - Children struggle to survive in WWII era Japan. Wanted to hate it, wanted to dismiss the inevitable tragedies, but in the end I couldn’t do it. The ending got to me a bit. Not fantastic, but good.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture Director’s Cut - Instead of going to see the new Star Trek movie, I’m going through the old ones again. The first movie is great in its director’s cut form. At some point I’ll have to watch the original theatrical version, just to really appreciate how much the director’s cut tightens things up. Wonderful soundtrack. Just don’t watch it late at night - not exactly the most action packed of movies.
(Crappy) Movie Roundup for May 3, 2009
The Final Cut - Robin Williams is a Cutter, a man who takes the best parts of a person’s life, cuts away all the unpleasant ones, and compiles them into a memorial video upon the person’s death. This career path was influenced by a traumatic event in his childhood; one whose reality is called into question when an old friend appears in the memories of a recently deceased client.
The movie introduces some interesting ideas about the pros and cons about having your entire life recorded. Williams does a surprisingly decent job in his role. Unfortunately, rather than simply focus on this character the movie decides to try to balance this with a thriller plot, and does so poorly. You will figure out the ending a good hour before it happens, and all you can do is watch as it skids there. What a waste.
Hitman - Timothy Oliphant tries to play an action hero. Due to various circumstances (script, direction, editing, and his own acting), he fails. Based on the hit (HAR!) video game series, this movie offers up a bunch of uninvolving conspiracies and lifeless action sequences.
The best moment? When the hero crashes through a hotel balcony door to find two kids playing Hitman. The movie does this without any trace of irony or humor. As if a movie that was adapted from a video game needs to nod to it by featuring the video game in the movie!
Not even the lead actress cavorting toplessly (multiple times!) can save this one.
Movie roundup
Blood Diamond - A decent action/adventure that thinks a bit too highly of itself.
Cashback - A strange movie that has absolutely no idea what it wants to be. Is this a romantic drama? A college sex comedy? A sci-fi erotica thriller? A pretentious arthouse film? I honestly don’t know. It defies genre categorization which would be a great thing if it weren’t so incohesive. It’s extremely well shot in portions, though, and I can’t say it was a complete waste of time.
Futurama: Bender’s Game - There is something horribly wrong with these Futurama direct-to-DVD movies. Yes, it’s still Futurama. But none of these movies have had enough energy to sustain their full running times. And they don’t work when split up into 30 minute episodes either. Just weak overall. I did get a few laughs out of it, though.
Primer
You pretty much need a flowchart to understand Primer. You might need a flowchart for the flowchart. I don’t think I’ve ever not understood a movie the first time through until now. Even Donnie Darko was more understandable.
What a moebius strip of a movie… and not necessarily in the enjoyable ways.